I am discovering the joys of going into slow motion for short periods each day.
It is an access door, allowing me to step fully into the present for a few moments at a time. Whatever I am doing, I just slow right down to a near standstill, but not quite. I have done it while walking in the park, swimming, and eating. I start by taking awareness to my breath for a second or two, then the activity.
Here in this moment of being present I can perform my new alchemy – the transmutation of the fearful recoil response by allowing it, greeting it, welcoming it in and comforting it. I can do this and still feel safe I am discovering.
The old way was to try and disassociate from suffering, especially fear, there’s an attempt at denial, to somehow split myself off from it. That chopping attempt has been much more uncomfortable than this new way, the allowing and the being with the feelings as they are.