Yes self sabotage.
I had a particularly good day yesterday, an old friend visited, we walked down to a restaurant for lunch, booked a holiday together and made a plan for going exploring abroad more often. I felt uplifted and excited about the future again. Then decided to have a Pimms last night, and ended up drinking way too much again and awoke with a blurry head and feeling like shit. I bit a nail down so far it hurts today. Didn’t manage my swim again. Pure self sabotage.
However isn’t it great to see it so clearly. Think I need to stop drinking, as I am not good at temperance, I have greedy tendencies! with drink, and food. More more more!
Im not going to waste too much time with the guilt and shame that are arising, I am going to get on with applying compassion and forgiveness, again. Sigh.