My mindfulness practise recently, as well as taking many many short moments throughout the day to disrupt the grip of thoughts, is mindful walking. I find a quiet spot away from people in the park and I slow right down to a snails pace. So slow that I can feel every single sensation of my weight transferring from one foot to the next, how the movement feels in my hips, the muscles, the texture of the ground underfoot. I breath consciously too, and feel the sensation of the air on my skins the smells and sounds around.
I often don’t really feel like doing it, but I do it anyway, a bit of temporary dislike doesn’t matter anyway. It’s the door that opens up that makes me do it. The ‘world’ and all its dramas stops for a while. I am free in those moments of turning the attention to what is actually happening right now this very second. It’s what is real. There is nothing else. I breathe in and breathe out. The dog wonders what on earth I’m doing and lies down in boredom, I smile. A person comes, I feel self conscious, a thought comes that he may also be wondering what this woman is doing. He passes without asking if I’ve lost something and I’m relieved. I don’t try and stop the thoughts, I just notice them. And then the next one comes, I notice it too, and it dissolves like the last one. I come back to what I am experiencing each time. Over and over and over. It sounds boring but it’s actually quite interesting how much there is to notice at this micro level of being present walking so slowly.
The residue of entering this state is taken with me as I resume a normal pace and go back to the car. I feel less scared about Isis, about all the responsibilities I have and I have in general less self concern. Self concern and self centric thoughts often ruin my mood if I get carried away with them. Me me me ness. Life feels a whole lot different when that me-ness subsides a little. I flow better. The right things come out my mouth at the right time. In fact timing improves in every respect. There is a sense of returning.
“My feet will tread soft as a deer in the forest.
My mind will be clear as water from the sacred well.
My heart will be strong as a great oak.
My spirit will spread an eagle’s wings,
and fly forth.” ~Juliet Marillier