Fear or Love


I woke up and the first thought was a scary one about not having enough money to pay HMRC and then my body reacted with stress, I immediately found myself dreading the day ahead and doubting my ability to cope with its challenges. I had let that thought come in unchallenged and believed it and this is the result. Anxiety.

I believed the thought that my survival is under threat. What a stark contrast to living each moment as it comes as I have been doing recently, which causes my experience of living to open right up, to be easy no matter what is going on. I just deal with each experience as it arrives and I love life. This anxiety I let in immediately made me feel closed down, and in need of protecting myself.

So what to do with it now that it is here? Well definitely accept it rather than resist it and name it as I am doing right now. I am aware that in the process of waking up these contrasting experiences are useful. The to and fro between peace and fear is itself excruciatingly painful and this pain does help me decide what I want.

Do I want to listen to the mind and get caught up in its dramas – NOOOOOO! or do I want inner peace and to sit on the riverbank watching the thoughts consciously aware they are just a stream of unending, unpredictable thoughts, and remain stable and centred?

(Later) So that fear lingered a bit as I knew I had to call them and I did, and I got 2 nice people who gave me time to pay up. Easy simple and there was no need to worry. Yet another experience of that.

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2 thoughts on “Fear or Love

  1. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad to hear that they gave you time. These posts are such a beacon of light for fellow seekers. Little everyday miracles that happen when you choose inner peace over and over again. It’s really wonderful to read about your journey.

    Like

    1. Thank you Karin x These little experiences in life that are teaching me so much. This here seeker is gradually getting that what she has been seeking all this time never left her 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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