Surfing the fear today (and most days)


Awoke cosy and snuggled up in the new tartan brushed cotton duvet, leant over and switched on Chris’s guided meditation. It’s a great way to arrive into the day, a centering experience before any nippy little scary thoughts are misconstrued as real.

It reminds me that all thoughts, emotions and sensations are passing events and that the experiencer, ‘me’ doesnt change through these ever-changing fluctuations. This is the only thing that I can ever justify clinging to, the still centre at the turning world that is me, is us. Thanks T.S.Eliot for that phrase, it means a lot to me and takes me to the still centre immediately. Enlightenment, to me, is occupying that still centre of the turning world consciously.

I then thoroughly exhausted the various news websites, Facebook and got into some meaty reading. I had googled ‘dzogchen quantum’ curious to see the correlation between them, and found the subject quite extensively explored in a couple of books available free, here is an example. I skim this sort of book, but what catches my attention goes some way to fill out the picture.

My mind, seems to be primarily a problem solving mechanism. I’m not sure if it has become like that through training or if that is what its purpose is, I suspect the former. I think this may have happened through our tendency to being overly threat sensitive, and saturated with fear. With no problems to solve it can be quieter, less excited by thinking at least. But its habit is to sniff out potential threats and on that level my circumstances present many opportunities for excitable fearfilled thinking/problem solving. And yet, I know that thinking and feeling fear is not the way to deal with life. If I can resist the temptation to succumb to believing the fears generated by mind are real, I have some chance of seeing the opportunities that lie well outside this frame of reference.

Things, everything looks different from a point of stillness. The monsters, the worries are just not as real. And what’s more I am better equipped to listen to the promptings of infinity and follow a less predictable and more imaginative path.

So hello fear and dread, I hear you, I’m busy with stillness right now though thanks 🙂

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